Fellow Americans, the Adolescents founded the CMS Political Party in our famous gymnasium just yesterday. As a creative writing assignment, we wrote multiple paragraphs about what our speeches would be if we ran for the most famous job in the U.S.: The President.

We exposed our plans to a small audience (and the 4th Grade French class when they came down) about the economy, foreign relations, immigration, and child care. All of our candidates argued fiercely and defended their opinions strongly… OK, it was just one at a time, but we had some ideas there.

Carson believed that a smarter US was a stronger US. He imagined all schools were like Montessori schools ( That ring any bells?) and our children had higher-quality education. Paige believed that criminals should go through ‘Kindness Acts’ until we are sure they have been rehabilitated ( Tough luck on the criminal). But why ask me? Ask the candidates. They have ideas to share and I have a debate at 6:00 tonight. Goodbye, America.