Hello, ladies and gentlemen. It is I, Carson Kizer, slayer of many a seventh grader in the CMS Adolescent Program, and I have an update for you! Yesterday (meaning January 5th), the class was asked to “make a choice and defend it” as a writing prompt. If it was left to me, I could choose to declare a war or put my name on every history book in, well, history. Sadly, however, we’re apparently supposed to stick with small stuff, so, here’s something I put together!

Why History is a Better Subject Than Everything Else

We all know the dissatisfied groans you make when your mom says “Time to go to school!” but what we also know is that school can also be fun. No, I don’t mean lunch or recess when I say that, but it’s still good. I’m talking about the subjects you learn like math, science, grammar, and history. History is by far my favorite subject out there, and I’m gonna tell you why.

First of all, you’re looking at stuff that actually happened, whereas in subjects like math (science seems to be the only other exception to this) some guy put a bunch of problems in a book and forgot about it the next day. Don’t take this too seriously, I like other subjects, but #VoteForHistory. Anyway, history is something you can actually remember and tell others about instead of using a board to help write down incredibly hard grammar rules

History also holds extraordinarily cool stories, like how Star Wars was made, the mystery of the two princes, and even recordings of gladiators fighting each other to the death with crowds wildly cheering them on. Yeah, it was that bad.

As if that wasn’t enough, there are some important figures that we have all come to know and love… or hate, depending on the person. We had people like Julius Caesar, King Nebuchadnezzar, General George S. Patton, Issac Newton, and at least a thousand others. Pretty cool, right?

Finally, and perhaps best of all, it has things everyone will love and never grow out of them. If I listed all the examples, this page would completely hog the blog (please excuse the pun), so I’ll limit this to a fair few: wars, betrayals, torture, romance, brave sacrifices, secret pacts, mythology, major accomplishments, claiming territory, trade boycotts, rock music, computers, and men on the Moon.

Are you feeling it? Are you feeling it? ARE YOU EVEN BEGINNING TO COMPREHEND THIS AWESOMENESS (wow that sounded weird)?! Remember, vote for history, and not these darksiders.